Kathleen began having night terrors months ago. I can't recall specifically when they started because the last two years have basically been one long, sleepless daze and I only vaguely recall a lull between colicky infancy and toddler terrors. But I do know they increased in intensity once we got to Cambodia because the first time she had them here, Ly and I thought we were going to have to take her to the hospital. Panicked would be a good description of my state of being in those endless moments. Once it subsided and I determined it was not the onset of dengue or malaria or some other frightening malady, I was convinced that it was a night terror. From that day forward, she had them regularly--even during naptimes.
When Kathleen is in the middle of a terror, she screams and cries and thrashes like someone is attacking her. If you talk to her or touch her or try to comfort her in any way, it makes it worse. My initial instinct was that this was a spiritual attack because it literally looks like an invisible being is attacking and there's even a kind of density surrounding her. But as I read about terrors on the internet, I sort of embraced the idea that it was just an overactive brain stimulation caused by lack of sleep or too much stimulation before bedtime, or the myriad of other potential reasons the researchers/doctors/whomever "they" are believe the triggers to be.
But on the night of Ly's and my 3rd wedding anniversary, just two weeks ago, when her terror lasted over an hour and she almost busted her head on the concrete floor from thrashing to get away from whatever was after her, I reverted to my instincts. I started reading people's comments about their own children's terrors (it is SO INCREDIBLY COMMON, that it's easy to just assume it's something your kid will grow out of, not to mention that in one conversation amongst a group of moms here in Cambodia, I learned of 5 of their children having them).
I watched a bunch of videos on YouTube that parents had filmed of their kids and I really didn't see many that equaled the intensity of Kathleen's. Most of them just seemed like bad nightmares from which the kids weren't waking. But one of the videos did show a child suffering from a more intense version of this and a female commenter stated that it was a "demonic attack." She went on to say that she also suffered from these attacks as a child and that the researchers are wrong in saying that the kid won't remember them when they wake up. Of course the other commenters were mad at that person because if you're not attuned to the spiritual world, it's a coarse and unhelpful thing to say. But the comment stuck with me and days later I googled "night terrors spiritual attack" and I came upon this blogpost: http://beyondthephysical.blogspot.com/2014/03/spiritual-warfare-101-victory-over.html
I'm guessing a lot of people will think this woman is a kook, but I'm not trying to be in the habit of letting Satan deceive me into thinking he doesn't want to destroy my precious family, especially when we're here in Cambodia telling people about Jesus. So when she said the following line, God convicted me:
"Satan does not want husbands and wives to know who they are in Jesus Christ and what spiritual power they have as one flesh."
Ly is faithful in his prayers and I always believe for him the Scripture of James 5:16, "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." But Satan constantly tells me that I am NOT a righteous person, so I've been listening to him and not believing this Scripture for myself. But in the moment that I read the above quotation, I knew what a disservice I've been doing my husband and my daughter. Ly and I are one flesh; Jesus's shed blood has given us a protection and power that I was not calling upon. I was half-heartedly, helplessly, breathing little unbelieving prayers for God to stop Kathleen's night terrors but I wasn't praying over our home and announcing in the name of Jesus Christ that Satan was not welcome here!
So I began praying fervently, and in the middle of the night, when Kathleen made even the slightest slumbery peep, I prayed against Satan. It reminded me of when I was little and I'd be scared to sleep in my bed alone and Mama told me that anytime I was scared, I should say, "Get behind me, Satan!" And he would have to go away and I would feel better. And it ALWAYS worked! So here I am at 34 years old, praying this prayer for my baby-doll-pumpkin-pie-moon-face. She is not of the age to do it for herself, so I have to do it for her! And I am confident in the power that I have in God.
My vigilant prayers began 5 days ago and Kathleen has not a had a night terror or nap terror or any kind of terror (besides just the terror of being 2) since. I know that Ly was already praying, but I wasn't holding up my end. PRAISE GOD for his spiritual protection!! I hope I don't get comfortable and forget His mighty power because Heaven knows we need all the protection we can get in Cambodia!
In a sense, I am glad to be in a spiritually heavy country because it's waking me up to things I could easily ignore or explain away with human thinking if I were in America. I know that Satan has us in his grip when we go along in our "developed nation" oblivion, not recognizing how he is concertedly trying to take us down and diminish our hope in Christ. So I am going to hold tight to one of my favorite Scriptures and remember His promises:
"Awake, O sleeper,
Rise from the dead
And Christ will give you light." --Ephesians 5:14
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